Kill Bell Vol 1

Ka-Boom!

Something odd has been happening near Casa Vysocina. It appears that, if I’m not mistaken, a terrorist organisation is trying to eliminate my family. It’s not paranoia when they’re really after you.

I was waiting by the bus stop on Thursday, waiting to go to college for the theory part of my Post Graduate Certificate in Education at Middlesbrough College. While I’m stood there contemplating how best to teach to constructivist learners without ignoring the odd humanist in the class (yeah right…), something grabs my attention.

A loud explosion.

Now there was no panic. Shopkeeper Dean emerged from his, uh, shop to look in the direction of the boom and I took a few steps to look down the alleyway. Fairly normal grass, birds, dog covered pavements…

And here come a gang of chavs running out of an estate, some of them laughing. One of them, well he fell flat on his face and didn’t move afterwards. I was going to go over and find out what happened and if they needed help. They could have set of a firework, a car could have backfired, maybe they had messed with an aerosol can. I even would have went over convinced it was a gunshot I’d heard. That’s what decent people do – help the idiots of this world.

But my bus came round the corner. And I went to college.

Hey we all have priorities. When I finished I found out from Shopkeeper Deans wife that the lads had built themselves a bomb from a YouTube video apparently and blew off two fingers belonging to one of the prior mentioned idiots. It’s not bad of me to feel pleased by this is it? Bleeding heart liberals may not want to face the fact that people exist who are just too dumb for words. You build a bomb, its your own fault what happens. What annoys me is the blood stains were still on the floor when the kids were leaving school. The police could have forced the gang to scrub the path clean.

The events of an eventful week don’t stop there. My dad, a retired RMN (Registered Mental Nurse) was heading off to work on saturday night to the care home he earns a booster for his pension. On the bus (he’s eco-friendly!) he had his own bang moment.

Somebody took a shot at the bus.

The back window was shot out. Apparently an air rifle according to the bus driver. He stopped the bus and wanted everyone to get off initially – which everyone was thrilled about with a gunman out there. However he changed his mind, taped off the back seats and pulled the window out entirely so no fragments could hurt anyone.

I do live in Middlesbrough, England right? Not Detroit, Not London, Not Baghdad, Not L.A, Not Rio. So why are we seeing bombs and shootings?

Atleast I can end this post saying nobody was hurt. Except the chav and his two fingers.